If you’ve ever been told you need to work on your listening skills, there are tips and tricks to help you improve. Effective listening skills are essential because they can help you build relationships. To become a better listener and engage with others meaningfully, you can adopt techniques that good listeners use in conversations. Becoming a better listener is possible with determination and practice.
Why is listening such an important skill?
Learning how to listen is essential for developing better communication skills. Good communication is at the core of building healthy relationships. In turn, building these healthy connections helps establish well-being in life. Social connectedness was linked to better mental wellness in a 2022 study by the International Journal of Public Health.
Listening can also help your problem-solving abilities by helping you retain information. The more you listen, the more you learn. This makes listening a valuable skill in many professional settings. Comprehending and following verbal instructions at work is necessary for your professional development. By paying attention to instructions, you can improve attention to detail. The ability to recall details can be valuable to employers.
Developing listening skills can also improve your work relationships. Another 2022 study from the Annual Review of Organizational Psychology and Organizational Behavior on the power of listening at work concluded it improves manager-employee relationships. Listening is also needed for building your teamwork skills. If you’re attentive during project meetings, coworkers will likely appreciate it.
Overall, the benefits of listening skills include:
- Increased conflict resolution skills
- In-depth understanding of conversations
- Improved ability to learn and recall information
- Stronger connections and relationships
- Better problem-solving abilities
- Improved teamwork skills
Being truly present in your conversations benefits both you and the people around you. It makes others feel valued and makes you a reliable friend and employee. It may seem like a small change, but improving your communication skills can improve your life.
What is active listening?
There are several types of listening. To truly understand a speaker, try some active listening techniques. These involve listening with intent and understanding. In theory, you are actively and consciously working to be attentive.
Active listening skills help you retain information and converse meaningfully. When you read the room and pick up on subtle cues, you can decipher subtext more easily. Because active listening requires you to be conscious in your communication, it’s a continuous effort. It’s important to assess your listening skills in each interaction.
7 ways to improve your listening skills
You can improve your critical listening skills with a few simple tips. The underlying theme to improving listening skills is being conscious of your interactions. While this takes practice, fast learners can pick up these tips quickly.
Eliminate distractions
Have you ever had someone catch your eyes drifting during a meaningful conversation? It’s likely they weren’t too happy. A lack of focus can make the speaker feel disrespected and undervalued. Work hard on maintaining your focus to show respect.
It’s important to focus on the person speaking. After all, it’s likely you appreciate having someone’s full attention when speaking. Improving your concentration skills immensely helps your ability to listen. Avoid distractions like busy areas, loud noises, and flashing lights. If you feel your mind drifting, you can request to have the conversation in a different place.
Pay attention to nonverbal cues
Many types of nonverbal communication can reveal more than spoken words. Pay attention to the speaker’s posture, hand gestures, facial expression, and tone of voice. By reading body language, you can get a sense of how a person truly feels.
Being aware of your own body language is also essential. Eye contact is important when listening to others. It gives the impression that you’re giving your full attention to what someone is saying. Eye contact can also help people feel more connected to you.
Leaning forward slightly is another way to show that you’re listening. As you listen, nod your head periodically to convey understanding. Make sure your posture isn’t closed off and use facial expressions to respond. Having the body language of a good listener encourages and validates the speaker.
Acknowledge the speaker's emotions
Acknowledging someone’s emotions can be beneficial to their mental well-being. A 2020 study in the Journal of Positive Psychology concluded validation has a positive effect on emotions. Simply having someone affirm your stress or unhappiness about an experience can be majorly beneficial.
The following are good examples of emotional validation in conversation:
- “I understand why you feel that way.”
- “That must have been very difficult for you.”
- “It’s clear this means a lot to you.”
- “That makes sense.”
- “I see what you mean.”
- “I’m sorry you’re going through this.”
When you acknowledge and affirm the speaker’s emotions, they feel comfortable to continue sharing with you. In time, you can become a safe space for others and work to build trust.
Try to understand rather than just hear
Understanding the other person’s point of view is beneficial in any conversation. It is especially important during conflict resolution. Use critical thinking skills and context clues to decipher the intent and emotion behind each sentence. Pay careful attention to the speaker’s words and absorb the information fully.
Careful listening can help you to understand someone’s intentions and emotions. Understanding is important because working to understand someone can make them feel seen and at ease. This reduces the risk of miscommunication, which could cause problems later on.
Briefly restate key points
Repeating a speaker’s words back to them shows that you are listening. It also makes them feel closer to the listener. This bond over repetition is known as the echo effect. You shouldn’t repeat what they say verbatim. You can summarize or paraphrase their words to show that you’re processing what they’ve said.
Summarizing a sequence of events is especially helpful if a person is telling you a story. Repeating things out loud helps commit them to memory. A study conducted in 2015 by the University of Montreal concluded that repeating aloud to another person boosts your ability to recall verbal information. Use repetition to your advantage and mirror the speaker’s words back to them.
Ask clarifying questions
Questions show that you care about the information you’re receiving. While nodding along is a great cue to show you’re listening, clarifying questions indicate that you’re truly engaged. A 2017 study found that question-asking even increases people’s fondness for you. Ask questions that prompt the speaker to give more details.
Open-ended questions such as “How do you feel about that?” can make the speaker feel valued. You can also ask questions to confirm the narrative of the conversation. Asking questions such as “Wait, so X happened, and then Y?” shows that you’re engaged. The speaker will be more likely to receive the impression that you care.
Why can listening be so challenging?
Listening can be challenging because many struggle with their attention span. There can be several reasons for this struggle. If you’re easily overwhelmed, you might find listening hard because you’re constantly worried about your to-do list. If you have social anxiety, interacting with others in general can be stressful.
Age can also influence attention span. A 2023 study recorded varying attention spans across lifespans. It reported a mean of 30 seconds for children, 76 seconds for young adults, and 67 seconds for older adults. It’s possible that with time, your ability to focus will fluctuate.
The distractions of technology can also make listening a challenge. A 2022 study in the Journal of Affective Disorders concluded heavy social media use may be problematic for those who experience attention control difficulties. If you’re used to scrolling through quick video reels, focusing on someone talking slowly can be challenging. But the importance of listening as a leader in the digital era cannot be overstated. Your ability to make people feel understood can make you an asset within your company.
Signs that you're a bad listener
The first step toward effective listening is admitting you need improvement. You don’t need to feel guilty about it. If you have a desire to improve, you’re already ahead of the game.
You may be a bad listener if:
- You’re distracted. If you look at your phone while someone is speaking, you’ll miss important points. And even while looking at the person, your mind can easily wander. You need to increase your attention span to focus on their words instead of zoning out.
- You interrupt others. It can sometimes be difficult to tell when someone is done speaking. To avoid accidentally interrupting, allow a pause for two or three seconds before speaking. Interrupting makes the speaker feel like you don’t care about what they’re saying.
How to practice your listening skills
As far as soft skills go, listening skills are fairly simple to practice. All you need is another person willing to talk to you.
Generally, people enjoy the opportunity to talk to someone who wants to listen. You can practice your listening skills with friends, family, coworkers, or even strangers. If you’re serious about improving your listening, engaging in listening skills training with a coach is also an option.
When actively listening, use the following tactics:
- Be mindful. Practicing mindfulness and learning how to be present helps you engage in conversations. If you’re mentally elsewhere and not present, it’s hard to focus on what another person is saying.
- Be open-minded. Keeping an open mind involves being receptive to any communication you might receive. If someone is talking about their emotions, try to place yourself in their shoes. Rather than thinking of how you would handle something differently, try to understand the speaker.
- Be aware of bias. Knowing your own biases is the first step toward overcoming them. Let’s say the person you’re talking to is venting about how emotionally difficult it is to fire someone. If you’re currently dealing with losing your job, it may be hard to find empathy for this person. Mentally stepping outside of your current situation allows you to see other perspectives.
- Be honest if you need something repeated. Don’t allow yourself to be completely lost in the conversation. It’s better to admit, “My thoughts trailed off for a few seconds, I’m sorry. Could you repeat that last part?” This shows that you want to listen to the best of your ability.
Using listening skills to your advantage
You can leverage interpersonal skills like listening to fuel your career growth. Good listening skills are a valued characteristic of any employee. A good listener is likely to follow instructions and pay attention during important meetings. You can also seek out new career opportunities by using listening skills to strengthen your networking connections.
If your listening skills could use some work, coaching can help. To say the least, investing in your ability to communicate is a worthwhile effort. Coaching can teach you comprehension skills in conversation and how to communicate more effectively. Find a coach today and prioritize how you connect with others.
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